How to properly handle your teen wanting a tattoo - part II

Human Ink - part II

the final installment of a two-part series

In this installment, I have three crucial actions to ensure your teen or young adult ends up with a masterpiece if they are to get one- and not a disasterpiece.

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ACTION #1

<<< My child is getting a tattoo. Support or suppress? >>>

We must remember, yes, we are the parents, and we should have a say in their decisions- but we also need to remember that they are now 18 years old and have a legal right to their bodies. Regardless of age, we should NEVER suppress our children, no matter how foolish we feel their decision-making is. That will not only make them feel belittled but also damage their self-esteem. Instead, be direct, express yourself, and articulate your reasoning; give them an example of why you feel this way. Your goal isn't to make them feel like you are grabbing them by the collar as they run full force. Instead, you want to gently steer them in a direction that both works for you and them.

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ACTION #2

<<< Honest, heart-to-heart talk >>>

Even if we do not agree with a tattoo or the representation of the tattoo, we should always attempt to find the middle ground. For example, let's change roles for a moment, and now you were the one who wanted the tattoo, but your parent decided for YOU that you could not get one despite you having a legal right to one now. That would be a tough pill to swallow, for sure. So instead, have a genuine sit-down conversation with them, and treat them to their favorite ice cream parlor or pizza pub. Engage and show that you are genuinely listening, let them explain the design, pattern, and location, and when they see that you are listening attentively, your words will carry much more weight. In addition, they will surely think much more carefully about the matter first.

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ACTION #3

<<< Subtle suggestions >>>

You can quickly tell if your child is serious about a tattoo, which means one of two things will happen at this point. One, if they are not sincere and it feels like they may be doing it out of spite, due to increasing peer pressure, or it is the newest fad, as mentioned in the first part of this two-part series, then you are going to want to pull out all of the tricks and subtly steer them away from the idea without forcing your will onto them. But, remember, it is their body; we must be good parents and help guide the young mind on its path.

If you missed the first installment of "Human Ink, part I" CLICK HERE

Now if your teen has a well-thought-out and organized plan for it, and it is undeniable that they have been planning for some time now, then offer your suggestions if it merits. For instance, if they plan on putting it on their wrist, you could steer them away from that location if it is a questionable or particular design that could become a disasterpiece in the long-term. Now obviously, every situation is different, but an example of giving some subtle advice is suggesting maybe putting the design on the lower back of their neck so it can be seen and hidden depending on their attire, and they would not need to look at it if they don't want to.

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<<< in conclusion >>>

Respecting the decision of our young adults is their best decision and ours. Remember, we do not necessarily have to like their decision; we must be adamant about respecting it. As young adults, they can now choose their path in life, whatever it may be. It was up to us as parents during the first 18 years to mold them into what we want them to be and what they need to be. Now, all we can do is be there for them during the "good and bad" and hope they will come to us for some advice when they need it, as they realize we've been around the block too.

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