Communication is Key | Transmission Complete

• Prelude •

Communication is at the heart of any relationship and what ties any two people together, whether it is a relationship of love or hate. Think about it, without communication (directly or indirectly), you could not feel any one way towards somebody. As you grew and were molded by your family and society (indirect communication), you learned to have your own opinions and values on people, whether you know them personally or not. Now imagine if you had no communication. Your only feelings would come from primal instincts; this is what makes the human species so special and unique. It is the reason for our unprecedented rise, and unfortunately, if we are not careful, it could be the demise of us all.

Communication is key in any situation- particularly when raising a family. In this blog post, I will discuss the importance of communicating with our young and why communicating is more important than obeying at times. Transmission Complete is the story of my oldest son and myself and how communication can be more critical in the long run (in this instance) than following instructions.

• In this Post •

▫ Transmission Sent

▫ Transmission Received

▫ Transmission Complete

▫ Communication is Key

▫ The Important Stuff

▫ Parental Failure

▫ Conclusion

• Transmission Sent •

"Hey! Devan!" I yelled to my oldest son, now becoming a young adult as he spends his 2nd year out of high school, running in and out of the house, back and forth between his high school sweetheart's house and ours. "Yeah, Dad?" he responds in his much older, deeper voice that I still struggle to get used to sometimes. I sternly respond, "I hope you remember to shake out the pig blankets before putting them in the washer and dryer." As anyone who has (or had) guinea pigs or other small pets knows all too well, hay, droppings, and other loose materials sometimes get stuck to the bedding, blankets, etc. As you can imagine, older doesn't necessarily equate to wiser, and I get the ever-so-familiar, "Yeah, sure, Dad." 10-4, good buddy. Transmission complete.

• Transmission Received •

Later that day, we went to throw a load of laundry in, and there was a slew of hay and droppings in the washer, and, as half expected, the guinea pigs' blankets were gone. I opened the dryer and found nothing. That is my son sometimes; his stuff was gone, along with him, leaving the mess for the rest. It was not a fun mess to clean- trust me! Nevertheless, I know if I asked him if he shook out the blankets before putting them in the washer, I would undoubtedly get the answer of "Oh no. Shit... Sorry."

• Transmission Complete •

The transmission was complete. The issue wasn't getting the message from point A to point B. The problem was point B dropping the ball once he had received the transmission. Maybe he had a brain fart, was in a rush, and just flat out forgot in the heat of the moment, or who knows, perhaps he just wanted to give the big ole screw you to the next person to use the washer. No matter the rhyme or reason, it happened, and he will get a stern talking to. I'll forgive him because this is the first time it has happened. I've always had the mentality of screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me (and that's when the gloves come off- figuratively, of course).

• Communication is Key •

The keynote of this story is communication. All of my children will tell you that perhaps 1 of the top 3 rules I live by and demand they adhere to under my roof is: COMMUNICATION IS KEY- or in this case, the transmission of information. That was the most critical part of the ordeal with the pig blankets for me as a dad. It wasn't enough for me that I wanted to know my son heard and understood what I was telling him. Instead, I needed to know my son heard me, understood what I said, and was willing to communicate back to me, even in this simple, insignificant example of our everyday life. Although Devan did not follow through with the task given to him, I know in my heart of hearts that if I said something to him during the most serious of moments or the most immature goofing off moments that we have, I could tell him something, he will listen to me, and respect it. By showing this, I know he will always be comfortable talking to me and conversing back and forth with me. Please note, I never said he or I would like the (topic of the) talk, but instead, we would be okay with talking and communicating.

• The Important Stuff •

Don't get me wrong, and don't get it twisted: will he talk to me about everything like we are BFFs? Hell no. Do I necessarily want him to spout off at the mouth about every fact of his life in excessive detail? Not really. Maybe when he was ten years old, I'd love that, but as I talked about in my last blog, I need to begin to vanquish that control and allow him to be his own man and tell me what he desires. I do not ever want him to feel obligated or uncomfortable feeling like he has to inform me of everything; as a parent, we can only hope they will come to you, especially in critical moments.

• Parental Failure •

If the time comes and any of my children cannot/will not talk to me or say virtually anything at all, that falls on me as a parent. Raising a little child, tween, teen, and young adult without communication is impossible. Therefore, if that day had come, I would have failed as a parent- perhaps my biggest fear in life.

• In Conclusion •

But again, to reiterate it one final time, that is why communication is key. Without it, parenting is impossible and pointless. At that point, the transmission breaks down, broadcasting endlessly with no response, just like we do as humans looking for otherworldly life. We broadcast on our big satellite dishes, yet we have not received them. Not much of a relationship with those aliens, eh? 👽

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